Dr. Jerry L. Woodbridge
“BZZZZ! Too Busy to Grieve”
BZZZZ! Bzzzzz! Buzzing around from here to there!
Buzzing to and fro, From who knows where?
Early morning darkness, unanswered questions raised.
Four in the morning and contemplating the days.
What am I doing? How can I do this?
Fear of failure, dread, and loss…losing others and myself.
Overwhelmed, driven, overworked to compensate,
Pride reduced to fight or flight and finally exhaustion.
No sleep; no rest. No personal best. Learning good lessons at what price?
To the mind and body stressed and ready to break.
Lord, hold me; My Redeemer,
I know you are at work in my life, but
I am so sad, tired, and alone.
I know you are there as I can see the stars in the dark night.
Others are counting on me to give my best,
Lord, please give me rest.
Open my heart and let the healing begin.
Release forgiveness and fill me with
love, compassion, and joy.
I need you more than breath itself,
Life without you is darkness and void.
Protect my heart and the joy that you bring,
Raise my downcast spirit so that I may sing
Of your enduring, compassionate love throughout the days,
I will surrender and offer You the praise.
Poem excerpt by Jerry L. Woodbridge from Trading My Sorrows for the Joy of the Lord, Chapter 10 Too Busy to Grieve, p.p. 32 – 33.
The Grief Swarm of Bees
When I penned this poem, I was exhausted working full-time and caring for
others, and my busyness did not allow much time for grief during the day. At night, it was a
different story, my mind wandered all over the place when it was time to sleep. I began to
journal and found a release that I needed.
Grief can be relentless. In the first few years after loss, I had the relocation of a new
job and a new house to distract me. But by year three, the busyness was gone, and grief
stepped into the empty spaces of my life like a swarm of bees. Each bee carried a sting of
its own: worries, regrets, fears, and unanswerable questions. One bee I could swat away,
but not a swarm. The buzzing thoughts came at me from every direction, overwhelming my
mind and heart.
Journaling became my net. When I felt consumed, I would capture just one bee, one
thought, and write it down. On the page, I could examine it, reflect on it, and release it. The
act of writing gave me a place to set it down, so it no longer circled endlessly in my head.
One bee I caught often was about my identity. I wrestled with the label of widow. Who am I
now? The word felt heavy, foreign, and lonely. Through journaling, I began to reshape the
question: Who is the widow in God’s eyes?
In that shift, I found not just sorrow but dignity, not just absence but a new way of
belonging. Journaling helped me move from being stung repeatedly to holding one bee
gently long enough to learn from it. Our God is the original writer.
Hebrews 8:10, This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after
that time, declare the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their
hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.
God also instructs us to “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour
out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord” Lamentations 2:19.
Journaling expressive writing, gratitude logs, or to do lists can help bereaved
individuals process grief and reduce pre-sleep worry, which are common contributors to
insomnia after spousal loss.
Tip: Make a Short To-Do List Before Bed. Writing down a quick, specific to-do list
for tomorrow can help your mind settle and make it easier to fall asleep.
Why This Works (What Studies Show):
Writing a bedtime to-do list has been shown to calm racing thoughts and help
people fall asleep faster (Scullin et al., 2017). Journaling or expressive writing can lower
mental “noise” in people who struggle with insomnia (Mooney et al., 2009). Writing about
feelings or tasks have helped grieving people cope better, even though that study didn’t
directly measure sleep (Lichtenthal et al., 2010). Track your sleep for 2–4 weeks: note how
long it takes you to fall asleep and rate how well you slept. If trouble sleeping or intense
grief continues, talking with a healthcare provider or counselor is essential.
First, let’s understand why bees swarm and sting. The following chart looks at
the positive and negative aspects of bee swarms, as well as a description of how our grief
seems to act like a swarm of bees.
| Bee Swarms Positives | The Grief Swarm of Bees | Bee Swarms Negative |
| Represents community, interconnectedness, wisdom, working together, productivity, and protectors of the hive. | Represents intensity of emotions, unanswerable questions like “what ifs…” and “why me?” Helps us focus on our effort and need encouragement. | Bees will attack if they sense a threat. Bee stings are painful, and the attacks are intense and unpredictable, very much like grief triggers. |
| As a gardener, the bees in my garden often did not bother me because they sensed I was the caretaker of the garden and not a threat. | Resulted in busyness, exhaustion, and insomnia because our emotions played on a loop in our brain, even panic attacks.Widows 65+ reported 36.1% insomnia. Single, widowed, & divorced had a ratio of 1:43 experiencing insomnia. | I recently visited the Fort Wayne Zoo and there were signs warning that bees are more prevalent this time of year. I was not familiar to the bees at the zoo. I walked up to a counter and was stung right through my long sleeve shirt and stung my inner elbow. It was painful and a person arrived with a bee sting kit to clean and put some cream to reduce the swelling. That sting caused feelings of fire and itchiness for the next week. |
| Fellowship with other widows & widowers provided a shared purpose, support, collective decision making, and problem solving. | Psalm 46:10He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”1 Peter 5:7 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.Hebrews 8:10This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. | Psalm 118:12They swarmed around me like bees, but they were consumed as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the Lord, I cut them down. The Visual Metaphor Chart below recites the verse, its meaning in context, and the spiritual application. |
 | ||
Why Journaling Helps
Journaling is a way of capturing one bee at a time. Instead of letting the swarm sting
endlessly, you can pause, catch a single thought, and place it on the page before God.
Writing gives shape to what feels shapeless, and it creates space for reflection, prayer, and
release.
Grief often arrives like a swarm of bees: thoughts, fears, and memories buzzing
around us from every angle. One by one, they may be manageable, but together they can
overwhelm us. (end of bee videos). When I wrote my poem about being too busy to grieve, I
was also having trouble sleeping and resting. In other words, I had insomnia.
Even Jesus invites us to bring our burdens to Him. When we write journals, we are
not just writing to ourselves, we are opening our hearts to God, who listens, cares, and
brings peace to our restless spirit.
Journaling is also a way we can record our progress as we navigate grief and respond
to grief triggers. We can record our favorite memories or funny stories about our lost loved
one so we will not forget them.
Impact of Journaling During Grief
Journaling can have a powerful impact on grief because it provides a safe, personal
space to process emotions, preserve memories, and make meaning out of loss. Here are
several ways it helps by providing an Emotional Release of overwhelming feelings,
unspoken, or socially difficult to share. Reduces the intensity of emotions and provide
relief, almost like “emptying” a heavy container. Sense-Making & Clarity allows you to
untangle thoughts and reflect on experiences and help you process unanswered questions,
regrets, or “unfinished conversations.” Providing a Connection to the Loved One through
recording memories, quotes, or stories keeps the bond alive. If you have any unspoken
words, you want or need to say, you can write a letter to them which can provide comfort
and a continuing sense of relationship.
The benefits of journaling Tracks Healing Over Time by looking back on entries show
how your grief changes. You may notice patterns, moments of strength, and small steps
toward healing that might otherwise go unnoticed. There are Stress & Health Benefits.
Research shows expressive writing reduces stress, improves mood, and may even
strengthen immune function. Journaling provides a constructive outlet instead of
suppressing grief, which can have physical and emotional consequences.
Journaling can become a way to honor your loved one’s life and integrate their memory
into your own ongoing story through Legacy & Meaning-Making, It can help shift grief from
just sorrow to also include gratitude, love, and remembrance.
Journaling Prompts
- What “bee buzzing” (thoughts, worries, or memories) are buzzing around me today?
- Which one feels the heaviest right now?
- Can I “capture” it by writing it down in detail?
- How might God see this bee “thought, fear, or memory” differently than I do?
- What would His perspective be?)
- When I ask, “Who am I in God’s eyes?” what answer comes to my heart?
- Write a prayer asking God to help you release one bee today.
Prayer
“Lord, my grief often feels like a swarm of bees: loud, chaotic, and painful.
Help me slow down enough to capture one thought at a time and bring it
before You. Remind me that in Your eyes, I am not defined by loss, but by Your
love. Calm my spirit and give me rest.” Amen.
Jerry L Woodbridge 
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